The Gralien Report

The much anticipated new book by the late Mac Tonnies has been released by Anomalist Books, titled The Cryptoterrestrials: A Meditation on Indigenous Humanoids and the Aliens Among Us. This book deals with a number of bizarre concepts, but placed forthright by Tonnies, accompanied by his usual intellect and powers of reason, they are afforded what is possibly the best interpretation of aliens as indigenous beings from Earth to-date. Nick Redfern, who in addition to providing the foreword for Tonnies’ book offered this excellent review, had this to share:

Mac was a very good friend of mine; and like all his friends I was shocked to the core when he passed away suddenly and tragically in October 2009, at the age of only 34.

But, I am pleased to say, Mac’s latest – and, inevitably, final – piece of work ensures that his memory, legacy and ability to think outside of the conventional ufological box will live on. That work is The Cryptoterrestrials: A Meditation on Indigenous Humanoids and the Aliens Among Us.
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Live Science reported recently on some rather strange behavior witnessed by one of our favorite critters here at the GR, the octopus. This one, however, at first glance might not look very octopoid… in fact, researchers were astounded to see the little fellow swimming along very close to the ocean floor with its arms trailing behind it, causing it to resemble a flounder with fins bristling behind it! Here is the link to the extraordinary piece of video.

Swimming Octopus Mimics a Flounder

Octopus and their kin are known for their intelligence and various formidable habits. In previous studies, octopus have not only learned how to twist the lid off a jar, but research involving cuttlefish have shown remarkable instances of communication between members of the same species. Also known as “chameleons of the sea” for their ability to alter their skin color at will very rapidly for camouflaging purposes, cuttlefish also change color as a means of communicating with their kin. Even stranger, certain varieties have been witnessed making symbols and gestures with their arms that seem to indicate communication on some basic level.

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It’s official… the contest is over, and it’s now time to announce the winners of Wm Michael Mott’s free book giveaway! Thanks to all the folks who submitted entries, and on behalf of Mott himself, as well as Joshua P. Warren and others who have participated in the contest, you interest in phenomenology is much appreciated.

Please keep in mind, the views expressed in these essays cover a wide array of opinions that do not necessarily reflect those of the moderators of this site, or even this contest. The are intended only as commentary or satire, and should be enjoyed as such!

That being said, our first place prize goes to Vance Pollock, an amatuer historian and researcher who provided this hilarious essay for us, based on actual historical events:

I nominate Pauly Shore and Barbara Streisand in the demon category, Richard Simmons and Dick Clark for their unexplainable immortality (no further comment) and the allegedly late Ronald Reagan because he is a cyborg.

I once saw a clip of Reagan receiving a crystal award statuette. A protestor leapt to the stage, snatched the crystal and smashed it on the ground, at which point Reagan visibly “shorted out” and had to be rolled off on a hand cart.

A great many mortals can see through the spell of Shore and Streisand, much like characters from They Live without sunglasses.

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Less than 24 hours after the premiere of the new National Geographic program Paranatural, which featured my colleagues and I from the L.E.M.U.R. team studying atmospheric phenomenon and Earth lights in Western North Carolina, news is beginning to surface regarding similar phenomenon said to have occurred just prior to the recent 8.8 earthquake that struck Chile.

One of the most credible reports of such phenomenon stems from a Chilean news reporter, Cecelia Lagos, who was interviewed by MSNBC and CNN networks. Lagos described “seeing the sky change colors outside her window as her house shook.” Lagos describes “I saw through my window, while I was still in bed, I saw the sky changing colors, it was absolutely surreal. I really thought it was the end of the world…I don’t know I hope you understand me because I’m not exaggerating really because I saw it through my window like that. That was the most terrifying thing seeing the sky changing colors with the terribly, amazingly, strong movement of the earth, I thought, ok…this is mother earth… the earth opened up and buildings crumbled into the earth …like in the movie 2012…”

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A good friend of mine, Christopher McCollum (also a Gralien Report news correspondent) has recently begun to make such headway with his own research into the strange twilight realm of Forteana that he has launched and excellent new blog of his own, Popular Paranormal:

Popular Paranormal: A Closer Look at Paranormal Themes in Popular Culture

McCollum is a member of the L.E.M.U.R. Paranormal Investigation team, led by Joshua P. Warren, and will be featured in his first nationally televised appearance tomorrow night (Monday March 1st) on National Geographic’s Paranatural. This fellow will no doubt continue to become one of the newest movers and shakers in the esoteric community… be sure and check in at his site often to learn more about his observations into the link between movies, books, media, and the unexplained.

When he’s not hunting UFOs and reading conspiracy books, Chris enjoys playing soccer and praising the exploits of the Great Flying Gople of Denmark.

Those who follow my work on this site and other venues I write for may not be as well familiar with some of the other pursuits and endeavors I undertake from time to time. In addition to researching the unexplained, I am also a professional musician (mostly on the weekends) playing in a group called the Runners of the Green Laurel.

We do mostly Bluegrass, but we also throw in a good bit of old time country, folk, and even an occasional jazz or rock song (whatever comes to mind… or occasionally, whatever arrives at the tip jar written on the back of a five, ten, or twenty dollar bill)! If you’d be interested in hearing what a Gralien playing Bluegrass might sound like, follow this link, where you can learn about my new album, as well as hear some sample audio:

Runners of the Green Laurel

This image appeared over at the blog of John Downes, Still on the Track, purported to show an enormous rattlesnake captured recently in Florida. In fact, the individual who supplied Downes with the photos (identified only as “Paula”), reports that this is the largest Eastern Diamondback ever caught on record.

Along with the photos sent to Downes (which can be viewed at his blog), Paula provides the following information:

1) One bite from a snake this large contains enough venom to kill over 40 full grown men.
2) The head alone is larger than the hand of a normal sized man.
3) This snake was probably alive when George H. W. Bush was President.
4) A bite from those fangs would equal being penetrated by two 1/4 inch screwdrivers.
5) A snake this size could easily swallow a 2 year-old child.
6) A snake this size has an approximately 5 and 1/2 foot accurate striking distance.
7) Judging by the size of the snake, it is estimated to weigh over 170 pounds. How much do you weigh?

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Below is a video preview of National Geographic’s new program, PARANATURAL featuring the LEMUR team researching causes behind the mysterious Brown Mountain Lights:

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Greetings Graliens,

Now that my new book, Magic, Mysticism and the Molecule has been available for purchase through Amazon.com and other distribution outlets for a few weeks, I am able to provide a very special offer for those of you who would like to buy the book directly through this website.

Later in this update, I will be providing a special offer code which, if you click on the link below and go directly to my e-store, will give you ten percent off your purchase! Here’s the link:

Purchase Magic Mysticism and the Molecule!

Once you follow this link and arrive at my e-store, directly below the image of the book’s cover you’ll see a button that says “Add to Cart.” After you click this, you’ll be redirected to the checkout area, and near the bottom of the page (just above the “Check Out” button) you’ll see an entry box, and beside it the words “apply discount.”In the box, all you have to do is enter the discount code below and you’ll receive 10% off your purchase:

5RN2APWV

It’s that simple! Be sure to pick up a copy today, since the book is full of in-depth information and analysis about a variety of topics I’ve only had time (and space) to touch on previously here at the Gralien Report. Thanks for your support, and most of all, enjoy!

I just received word that a television program Joshua P. Warren and the L.E.M.U.R. team filmed last October with National Geographic will be airing this Monday night, according to word from network sources. Here’s an update sent out by Warren earlier this week:

At long last, our BIG National Geographic program is slated to air this Monday, March 1, 9pm east coast US (New York) time on the National Geographic Channel.

Our team has captured some truly weird and amazing stuff. As usual, I was skeptical and doubtful when I first saw the footage. After analysis, I realized what we got was truly out of this world.

Using 3rd Generation Night Vision technology, Dean Warsing (www.UFONightShift.com) was able to capture something at Brown Mountain we cannot explain. It was enhanced by Brian Irish, assisted by Chris McCollum.

If you tune in, you might even catch a (very fleeting) glimpse of yours truly (although I was on set, most of the work I did was off-camera… you know what they say about guys like me having a face made for radio, right?).