All too often, I see these infamous “Top Ten” lists being compiled, detailing the “top ten most horrific cryptozoological monstrosities” and the like on various websites around the net. Granted, many (if not most) of them are great, and I love to read them when they appear (usually coinciding with Halloween). For instance, recently Haunted America Tours compiled what I would call one of the most visually-appealing monster round ups that I’ve seen to-date, with a few images included in their listing of top-ten monsters that were so unique that I ended up digging around for the artists who procured them (I’m a classical art nut… to this, I raise my glass to HAT’s classy selection).
Along these same lines, about a year ago my friend and mentor Brad Steiger sent an email requesting a round-up of favorite monsters (Brad often sends questionnaires to his friends and associates for purposes of outsourcing opinions on such matters, resulting in a lot of great compilations that appear in his books). At the time, although I won’t dispute Bigfoot being a personal all-time favorite, I couldn’t help but feel that the Pacific Northwest’s hairiest humanoid giant (with the prolific nature of sightings he and his cousins garner around the globe) seems to dominate lists of “top ten favorites”. Similarly, although she’s relatively concentrated in her specific locale, Scotland’s Lady of the Loch “Nessie” also ranks high among those mysterious monopolizing monsters, with her constituents in various lakes and oceans around the world also garnering a lot of attention. Finally, I have to give credit to those rascally little soft-organ-suckers from the Southern extremities, the Chupacabras, who have spent the last two decades making a name for themselves among the top-ranking cryptids (as well as, strangely, morphing from green-scaled alien monkeys into hairless reptile-dogs with exaggerated canines… no further comment).
However, I feel like there are weirder monsters… scarier monsters… that are often forgotten on such lists. If you’ve listened to interviews with me in the past, you’ve probably heard of a few of these. However, since they are too often forgotten, I figured I would post for you here at The Gralien Report my own “Top Ten Scariest Monsters” list, bearing in mind that all of these are supposed or theorized to actually exist in various capacities… when such things call your belief system and reality into question, what do you choose to believe? Although I question virtually everything presented here (not taking a completely skeptical stance against the possibility, by any means), there is a wide margin of collected evidence which suggests the baddies presented here are worthy of further speculation. You be the judge… but above all, enjoy!
The Official GRALIEN REPORT “Top Ten SCARIEST MONSTERS”
1) BLOOP: In the summer of 1997, the U.S. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) managed to record a bizarre series of underwater sounds with an array of deep-sea moored hydrophones, formerly used for tracking Soviet submarines. “Bloop” is the name given to one particular ultra-low frequency underwater sound detected by NOAA, the source of which remains unknown. Scientists and marine biologists who have studied the noise report that it “matches the audio profile of a living creature,” although no animal on Earth exists that could have produced the sound. Due to the unique frequency of the recorded “Bloop”, scientists claim the creature emitting the noise “would have to be several times the size of the largest known animal on Earth, the Blue Whale.” Even stranger, the estimated coordinates from which the noise emanated (50 degrees South by 100 degrees West) marks a point furthest from most land masses in the South Pacific Ocean. This coincides almost perfectly with the location of the sunken city of R’lyeh in H.P. Lovecraft’s story The Call of Cthulhu, in which a monstrous alien is revived from beneath the Pacific depths at this same location. The frightening results of NOAA’s research leave us to ask, “was Lovecraft right?”
2) HOMO HADALIS: This term is borrowed from author Jeff Long’s fictional name for subterranean proto-human creatures living below the Earth in his novel The Descent. Though Long’s interpretation of a separate branch of humanity living in elaborate cave systems beneath the surface world is purely fiction, there are occasionally reports of similar creatures that come to light in Fortean circles. Many hominid researchers